The (Steam) Achievements I'm Proud Of (and One I'd Give Back)
While many people brag about running a four minute mile, or always being able to find a good parking spot, gamers have long used far-fetched tales to proclaim their excellence in their favorite activity. But with the rise of services such as Microsoft's Xbox Live and Valve's Steam, gamers have found new ways to bring gaming into their own social circles. The now widespread use of "achievement" or "trophy" systems are, to many, a standard by which to weigh the ability and perseverance the dedicated gamer applies to his craft. Unfortunately, these systems. like all others, are not perfect, and almost every game is rife with "achievements" that any player will attain after having performed the most basic of tasks in said game. So, what makes an achievement worthwhile? That answer will be different for every person. The lists I intend to present here will show what marks of accomplishment I'm most proud (and regretful) for attaining. Enjoy!
My Biggest Achievements (in no particular order):
Squish every single antlion grub in Half LIfe 2: Episode Two
This achievement may be one of the most basic types- "Collect x number of kills"- but taking the time to search out all 333 (three hundred and thirty three!) of those baby bastards helped to illustrate the intricate care with which HL2: Ep. 2 was crafted. Searching multi-layered web caches, abandoned mine shafts, and even inside storage lockers helped me to slow down and really look at how much amazing detail went into every aspect of Gordon Freeman's adventure to reach White Forest and save the resistance from the Combine threat.
Send the garden gnome into space (Half LIfe 2: Episode Two)
The premise of this achievement is simple- find a garden gnome somewhere in HL2: Ep 2 and somehow get him out of the atmosphere. But the execution- oh, the execution. You'll find the gnome about 5 minutes into your foray of Ep 2, and he will proceed to mock you for the next few arduous hours as you curse him for his condescending little smirk.
What's so difficult about toting around a garden gnome, you say? The little bastard won't wear his seat belt! After hauling him through an abandoned mine, you discover you'll be driving through a train yard and some mountain passes to reach your destination- and you must keep the garden gnome in the car without having any means to actually keep him in the car. The slightest burst of acceleration, the daintiest turn of the steering wheel, and your vertically challenged companion will fly out the side. Did I forget to mention this car has no doors? And that for much of your joy-ride you're being chased by a Combine helicopter? Before you finish this endeavor, YOU WILL KNOW SUFFERING. Trust me, it's never felt so good to see a giant rocket explode, pulverizing your plastic pal into a pathetic pulp.
Beat a Campaign in Left 4 Dead without losing any Survivors.
It's difficult to explain to someone who hasn't played Valve's L4D just how satisfying it really is for you and three companions to survive the zombie apocalypse. It's not really about shooting hundreds of the living dead, the explosions and fire and screaming and car alarms, or even the sheer terror of the low brass cue signaling the approach of the game's worst foe, the Tank. Perhaps it's the fact that despite all these horrors, you can still find reasons to laugh- like the fact that sometimes, zombies just can't stand each other.
I think the Witch might have had a slightly different name during development...
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The Achievement I'd Give Back:
Trailblazer:
Ignite 10 enemies that have recently come through a teleporter.
This achievement represents a special type: Achievements that promote bad behavior. How did I attain this achievement? I stood by an enemy teleporter exit and waited for my hapless prey to show up. Now, all's fair in love and war, as they say, but that's a pretty cheap way to boost your stats.
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All in all, I've done a lot of gaming, and found some unique and awesome tests of skill along the way. I can only hope that I'm up to the challenge.
My Biggest Achievements (in no particular order):
Squish every single antlion grub in Half LIfe 2: Episode Two
This achievement may be one of the most basic types- "Collect x number of kills"- but taking the time to search out all 333 (three hundred and thirty three!) of those baby bastards helped to illustrate the intricate care with which HL2: Ep. 2 was crafted. Searching multi-layered web caches, abandoned mine shafts, and even inside storage lockers helped me to slow down and really look at how much amazing detail went into every aspect of Gordon Freeman's adventure to reach White Forest and save the resistance from the Combine threat.
Send the garden gnome into space (Half LIfe 2: Episode Two)
The premise of this achievement is simple- find a garden gnome somewhere in HL2: Ep 2 and somehow get him out of the atmosphere. But the execution- oh, the execution. You'll find the gnome about 5 minutes into your foray of Ep 2, and he will proceed to mock you for the next few arduous hours as you curse him for his condescending little smirk.
He'd be less happy if he realized that he was gonna die.
What's so difficult about toting around a garden gnome, you say? The little bastard won't wear his seat belt! After hauling him through an abandoned mine, you discover you'll be driving through a train yard and some mountain passes to reach your destination- and you must keep the garden gnome in the car without having any means to actually keep him in the car. The slightest burst of acceleration, the daintiest turn of the steering wheel, and your vertically challenged companion will fly out the side. Did I forget to mention this car has no doors? And that for much of your joy-ride you're being chased by a Combine helicopter? Before you finish this endeavor, YOU WILL KNOW SUFFERING. Trust me, it's never felt so good to see a giant rocket explode, pulverizing your plastic pal into a pathetic pulp.
Beat a Campaign in Left 4 Dead without losing any Survivors.
It's difficult to explain to someone who hasn't played Valve's L4D just how satisfying it really is for you and three companions to survive the zombie apocalypse. It's not really about shooting hundreds of the living dead, the explosions and fire and screaming and car alarms, or even the sheer terror of the low brass cue signaling the approach of the game's worst foe, the Tank. Perhaps it's the fact that despite all these horrors, you can still find reasons to laugh- like the fact that sometimes, zombies just can't stand each other.
I think the Witch might have had a slightly different name during development...
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The Achievement I'd Give Back:
Trailblazer:
Ignite 10 enemies that have recently come through a teleporter.
This achievement represents a special type: Achievements that promote bad behavior. How did I attain this achievement? I stood by an enemy teleporter exit and waited for my hapless prey to show up. Now, all's fair in love and war, as they say, but that's a pretty cheap way to boost your stats.
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All in all, I've done a lot of gaming, and found some unique and awesome tests of skill along the way. I can only hope that I'm up to the challenge.
Tags: achievements, gaming, steam
7 Comments
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Comment by SquirrelsOfWar on January 1, 2009 at 9:50am -
hm...most ludacrous achievements....well, I have the full 1000 for Mass Effect and on my way there for Fallout 3, but some of my best ones are for playing Forza for ridiculous amounts of time.
Hm, I guess I dont have that many insane one, not counting WoW achievements, ofcourse. Its a good system and has grown on me.
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Comment by jungleralph on January 1, 2009 at 11:45am - heh I like the way you write about your experiences in game KJ. TOO BAD GAX IS DEAD AND NO ONE WILL READ THIS.
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Comment by SquirrelsOfWar on January 1, 2009 at 12:50pm
- EVER
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Comment by Googleman81 on January 1, 2009 at 1:49pm -
i like getting achievements but i dont get the whole achievement hunt thing, i usually get achievements just by regular playing, tf2 is an exception and i must say its kind of a pain in the butt to do special things all the time just to get new weapons like the pyro flare gun etc, also i think its honestly kind of a cheap way to stretch the game for the devs, by putting tiny tidbits in there that require huge effort by the player but almost none by the devs, like take the garden gnome achievement, they had to make a garden gnome, thats about it, the rocket was in the game already and would be shot into space anyway as a normal part of the game. now you as a player go through all this crap just to get an achievement that says "you shot a gnome into space" and you get closer to get to 100% achievements. i mean... wtf?
sorry for missing out on the paragraphs again.
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Comment by Jin on January 1, 2009 at 9:46pm - Good read :)
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Comment by jungleralph on January 3, 2009 at 8:29am
- Honestly the only reason I still frequent gax is because of SoW
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© 2009 Created by Gary Gannon
something that I always feel the need to argue about any achievement system is that hunting the little baggers makes you experience different angles of game play that usually you may wonder straight past.
The other side of the coin however is that especially on x box 360 that people buy a game (even if its a Shite game) squeeze every achievement out of it and move on.
meaning that games that would usually be popular and populated for an age are now flash in the pan success's
I would even go as far as saying that (again I'm talking about 360) the endless hunt for more achievement score forces people to play bad games, and removed the joy of playing a game for the joy of it.
all that said I think the way that steam avoids totalling up your number negates allot of my points here.... sorry if this was bit ranty.
GREAT blog post by the way, you should post more often ;)